Sutherland Final

Whilst reminiscing on the older writings of mine I came to enlightenment about how I have grown, and how I have changed over the year. I realized that I started off at a little bit of a rough start, and frankly I found myself disagreeing with some of the things I said. I am pleased with my growth, and hope to continue growing.
On my very first post “Just Kidding and Ganging Up” I told a story about a time when I was in a conflict with another student. I handled it in a very peculiar way that I would have definitely done differently. Here is what I said,
“Some of my options were to try to tell a teacher, get in a fight, and get a group of your friends to confront them with myself, or simply just ignore them. Trying to tell the teacher didn’t work because like I said, they would be ‘just kidding’. Getting in a fight didn’t make sense either because violence wasn’t the answer to this problem. Getting a group of my friends together made sense at first so I talked to a couple of them and we decided to do that. Later that day I realized that that would probably lead to violence to, so that choice was out. The last choice was to ignore them. That always works the best in a situation like that, but it is hard to do for me. I always just wanted to say something back, and a lot of the times I did. But I realized that it wouldn’t. Soon everybody else started to ignore them and they stopped. I think the reason that they stopped was because they always had someone react to it. Once they saw that everyone just ignored them they just felt stupid. I think that was the best ways to make anything like that stop.”
In my honest opinion I would have done things completely different, which isn’t always bad because it shows personal growth for me. If this same situation were to happen to me today I probably would deal with it myself. I feel confident in myself enough that I feel that I could just simply stop all of the drama. This surprises me because I want to go back and ask myself, “What are you thinking? Why don’t you just be strong and deal with it yourself”. I wish I could take it all back and do it over again, because my relationship with that kid might be a whole lot better and civilized. When you are domestic and kind about your argument, you will more often than not come out on top.
My favorite blog post that I wrote this year was my “Basic Book Review” that I wrote on April 30th. I simply liked this one the most because of the length and content that it included. I had some very strong points, and I feel that my word choices were great. The main thing that I utilized to write this post was a thesaurus. A thesaurus can be helpful in all ways because if I am ever at a loss for words I can easily just pull up an online thesaurus to get a better word to use. This can also convince your reader that you are more educated on you subject. My secondary utilization to write my essay was actually the peer review comments that I was left on that post. Getting a peer review of you writings is always important because it can show you many ways to improve on your writing and really lock down your thoughts. When I went back to check on by post I saw that I had 3 comments from my table mates Yen, Kathy, and Luis. They very politely left me comments that really helped me for new ideas. Here is some of the things they said.

“In the first question, address why this book would be better for young adults to read than younger kids. Why shouldn't younger kids read this book? etc. Also you need another CD/CM, but I think it still is good without another one. You should talk more about the plot because it is confusing of what you are talking about like "unwound." I thought you did well on the second question, pretty solid part of book review. Solid post overall, keep it up. – Luis

i like how you used a rare question, but make sure that you make you’re feeling about the books overall ranking. if you liked it overall, if it was overrated, and why did it make you feel that way. – Kathy
as you can see these comments helped tremendously. I always love getting constructive criticism, as it is a way to learn from your mistakes and problems. Whenever you are feeling like you are helpless is it very beneficial to just reach out and have someone read you work.

The final tool that I used was rest. Sometimes you simply just need to take a break to clear your mind. This can help you refocus on your topic, and get your ideas to help you. If you need to take a hour long break, take it because in the end you will come out with a better final and better quality work.
Over the whole year I have grown tremendously. I have writing that I agree with, and then I have some writing that I hate. I also have writing that I am just okay with, and that drives me to go back and fix it. I plan on keeping blogging during the years, and I hope all of my friends do too.

Book review final

In my story Unwind by Neal Shusterman is a genre fiction about kids who are being sold for their body parts. They have to find a way to solve their problems and just simply survive until they reach the age of eighteen, where they will not be eligible to be ‘unwound’. when you are unwound you are basically captured by the government, and then disassembled and have their organs donated to injured or sick people. The three questions that I have chosen to respond to are as followed: which audience did the author aim this book towards, and what are the weaknesses of this book?

Question: For what audience is this book, and how can you tell (in other words for whom would you recommend this book?

If I had to choose a main audience for this book I would choose the audience as young adults. The reason that I chose young adults and not young kids is because there seems to be a couple of little jokes that kids of a younger age wouldn’t really connect to. For example the joke about the two birds, kids of today would have trouble understanding this because they didn’t really grow up in the right era to even understand. The three reasons why this is true are because of the language that the kids use, the secret little joke that Shusterman added, and the sort of trouble that the runaways are faced with in their journey to escape.

The reason that I chose language as one of my reasons is because it seems like Shusterman uses slang and urban vernacular all around the book. Some of the words and phrases that he uses that he used are ones that us kids use in our everyday conversations such as ‘totally’ and ‘it was a piece of crap’. I predict that he uses word and phrases like this to draw young adults into his book and make us feel that he is sort of like us. One example of this is here

“How much is ransom?” Lev asks. “Ransom? There’s no ransom”, says the crazy kid. “I took you to save you, Idiot!”

This quotes explains how when Connor captures Lev and their journey starts. Lev thinks that he has been kidnapped by some psycho and is being held hostage. Notice that Shusterman uses the word idiot. If this book were directed towards and older audience such as adults he probably would have used the word idiot because it is a more youth friendly word. With the use of more words like these it appeals to the audience because it makes them think that this book might be worth reading and not be boring.

The second technique that Shusterman uses is adding situations that the young adults of today can relate to. This is exemplified when the group finds that abandoned baby, and Connor explains why they can’t just leave it. He then goes on to tell a story about how this is how he got two of his brothers and sisters. Connor was not treated as well as his brother and sister who were both ‘storked’ (which means they were left on another person’s door step at birth to have the other people have to take care of them). They then decide to take in the newborn as if it is their own for a while. I think that the young adults of America can relate to this because as time goes on it seems like the age for teenage pregnancy and parenthood is dropping like crazy. Even today there is a show on MTV called Sixteen and Pregnant, which I think is wrong on so many levels, that shows how your life will be if you have a baby at this age. Having the reader be able to relate to your story is crucial if you are looking for a certain type of audience.

Language and situations are a very important part of appealing to the right audience, and if you get them wrong the whole age target switches to a whole different age group. Since Shusterman is trying to target the audience of young people his language had to be correct, and I think he did a very nice job on making the reader feel relatable.

The second question that I chose to respond to was the one of the weaknesses of the book. I think that the main three are the attention that it demands, the character development, and the whole plot. I think that all of these parts were ok, but I think they could have easily been improved upon.

This book demands a lot of attention because it makes you really keep on reading. I have noticed that some parts of the book seem rushed or like they are just they there to fill in the story. The main example of this is when the kids first arrive at the graveyard. The author seems to just go on and on about how they have to do all of this labor intensive work and how they awkwardly always run into one of the main characters, Lev. In my personal opinion he could have left these parts out because they didn’t really supply and background to the story. Instead I would have made up some other little mini story within the story to help keep the reader wondering what would happen next.

My second problem was the seemingly lack of backstories to help develop the main character’s personalities. Instead of putting in all of these random little fill-ins he could have added these. I predict that if Shusterman had actually done this I would feel a stronger connection to the main characters. As of now I feel like they are all pretty bland and boring. Maybe one of them could have had some sort of disease that makes them physically inferior, which could reveal a whole new plot twist, or one of them could have some sort of dark secret that nobody knows about. For me character developing is a very important part of a story.

The final weakness was the whole plot. I wasn’t very weak; I just think that he could have easily expanded on the whole thing. By taking the steps I added above the whole plot could have thickened and made it a much more enjoyable book for me, the young reader, to read. All in all it was good, but it just felt like it was lacking in the plot department.

Unwind was a great book and I would recommend it to anybody who is looking for an easy summer reader, or just a book to read in their spare time. Like I said earlier his language was very catering to a younger audience, but it felt a little forced, and there were many things I think Shusterman should have added and taken out. If you are looking for a semi-sci-fi novel to read, this is the one for you.

"Peer review comments" or something like that.

Questions for Yen:

I agree with Luis. If you forget to write your question at the top it can be confusing for people to understand what exactly you are talking about. I think that you should expand on the actual questions, not just stating the plot. You also forgot a conclusion!! Overall it was a good post that can use a little work.

Questions for Luis

Some of you sentences just seem like they are there just to be fillers, so make sure that you actually make your sentences out. If you are stuck trying to find words that will make your writing for a little more formal you can use a thesaurus. I think you should talk a little more about how much of an effect the book had on you, and why you would recommend it so much,

Questions for Kathy:

Formality seems to be a reoccurring theme with this group, and like I told Luis, using a thesaurus can really help. Also like I told Luis, don't summarize so much. The goal is to answer the questions, not tell what you book it about. PS you background gave me a head ache.

Basic Book Review

In my story Unwind by Neal Shusterman is a genre fiction about kids who are being sold for their body parts. They have to find a way to solve their problems and just simply survive until they reach the age of eighteen, where they will not be eligible to be ‘unwound’. The three questions that I have chosen to respond to are as followed: which audience did the author aim this book towards, and what are the weaknesses of this book?

Question: For what audience is this book, and how can you tell (in other words for whom would you recommend this book?

If I had to choose a main audience for this book I would choose the audience as young adults. The two reasons why this is true are because of the language that the kids use and the sort of trouble that the runaways are faced with in their journey to escape.

The reason that I chose language as one of my reasons is because it seems like Shusterman uses slang and urban vernacular all around the book. Some of the words and phrases that he uses that he used are ones that us kids use in our everyday conversations such as ‘totally’ and ‘it was a piece of crap’. I predict that he uses word and phrases like this to draw young adults into his book and make us feel that he is sort of like us. One example of this is here

“How much is ransom?” Lev asks. “Ransom? There’s no ransom”, says the crazy kid. “I took you to save you, Idiot!”

This quotes explains how when Connor captures Lev and their journey starts. Lev thinks that he has been kidnapped by some psycho and is being held hostage. Notice that Shusterman uses the word idiot. If this book were directed towards and older audience such as adults he probably would have used the word idiot because it is a more youth friendly word. With the use of more words like these it appeals to the audience because it makes them think that this book might be worth reading and not be boring.

The second technique that Shusterman uses is adding situations that the young adults of today can relate to. This is exemplified when the group finds that abandoned baby, and Connor explains why they can’t just leave it. He then goes on to tell a story about how this is how he got two of his brothers and sisters. Connor was not treated as well as his brother and sister who were both ‘storked’ (which means they were left on another person’s door step at birth to have the other people have to take care of them). They then decide to take in the newborn as if it is their own for a while. I think that the young adults of America can relate to this because as time goes on it seems like the age for teenage pregnancy and parenthood is dropping like crazy. Even today there is a show on MTV called Sixteen and Pregnant, which I think is wrong on so many levels, that shows how your life will be if you have a baby at this age. Having the reader be able to relate to your story is crucial if you are looking for a certain type of audience.

Language and situations are a very important part of appealing to the right audience, and if you get them wrong the whole age target switches to a whole different age group. Since Shusterman is trying to target the audience of young people his language had to be correct, and I think he did a very nice job on making the reader feel relatable.

The second question that I chose to respond to was the one of the weaknesses of the book. I think that the main three are the attention that it demands, the character development, and the whole plot. I think that all of these parts were ok, but I think they could have easily been improved upon.

This book demands a lot of attention because it makes you really keep on reading. I have noticed that some parts of the book seem rushed or like they are just they there to fill in the story. The main example of this is when the kids first arrive at the graveyard. The author seems to just go on and on about how they have to do all of this labor intensive work and how they awkwardly always run into one of the main characters, Lev. In my personal opinion he could have left these parts out because they didn’t really supply and background to the story. Instead I would have made up some other little mini story within the story to help keep the reader wondering what would happen next.

My second problem was the seemingly lack of backstories to help develop the main character’s personalities. Instead of putting in all of these random little fill-ins he could have added these. I predict that if Shusterman had actually done this I would feel a stronger connection to the main characters. As of now I feel like they are all pretty bland and boring. Maybe one of them could have had some sort of disease that makes them physically inferior, which could reveal a whole new plot twist, or one of them could have some sort of dark secret that nobody knows about. For me character developing is a very important part of a story.

The final weakness was the whole plot. I wasn’t very weak; I just think that he could have easily expanded on the whole thing. By taking the steps I added above the whole plot could have thickened and made it a much more enjoyable book for me, the young reader, to read. All in all it was good, but it just felt like it was lacking in the plot department.

Unwind was a great book and I would recommend it to anybody who is looking for an easy summer reader, or just a book to read in their spare time. Like I said earlier his language was very catering to a younger audience, but it felt a little forced, and there were many things I think Shusterman should have added and taken out. If you are looking for a semi-sci-fi novel to read, this is the one for you.

book resonse

Question: For what audience is this book, and how can you tell (in other words for whom would you recommend this book)?)

My book, Unwind, by Neal Shusterman is a Science Fiction story about kids on the run from the government in order to escape from being unwound. If I had to choose a main audience for this book I would choose the audience as young adults. The two reasons why this is true are because of the language that the kids use and the sort of trouble that the runaways are faced with in their journey to escape.

The reason that I chose language as one of my reasons is because it seems like Shusterman uses slang and urban vernacular all around the book. Some of the words and phrases that he uses that he used are ones that us kids use in our everyday conversations such as ‘totally’ and ‘it was a piece of crap’. I predict that he uses word and phrases like this to draw young adults into his book and make us feel that he is sort of like us. One example of this is here

“How much is ransom?” Lev asks. “Ransom? There’s no ransom”, says the crazy kid. “I took you to save you, Idiot!”

This quotes explains how when Connor captures Lev and their journey starts. Lev thinks that he has been kidnapped by some psycho and is being held hostage. Notice that Shusterman uses the word idiot. If this book were directed towards and older audience such as adults he probably would have used the word idiot because it is a more youth friendly word. With the use of more words like these it appeals to the audience because it makes them think that this book might be worth reading and not be boring.

The second technique that Shusterman uses is adding situations that the young adults of today can relate to. This is exemplified when the group finds that abandoned baby, and Connor explains why they can’t just leave it. He then goes on to tell a story about how this is how he got two of his brothers and sisters. Connor was not treated as well as his brother and sister who were both ‘storked’ (which means they were left on another person’s door step at birth to have the other people have to take care of them). They then decide to take in the newborn as if it is their own for a while. I think that the young adults of America can relate to this because as time goes on it seems like the age for teenage pregnancy and parenthood is dropping like crazy. Even today there is a show on MTV called Sixteen and Pregnant, which I think is wrong on so many levels, that shows how your life will be if you have a baby at this age. Having the reader be able to relate to your story is crucial if you are looking for a certain type of audience.

Language and situations are a very important part of appealing to the right audience, and if you get them wrong the whole age target switches to a whole different age group. Since Shusterman is trying to target the audience of young people his language had to be correct, and I think he did a very nice job on making the reader feel relatable.

Vignette Responses

So far I have been reading everyone’s vignettes, and some of them really stuck out to me. The main three were The Curious Case of the Panda by Christian Cortez, Talent by Christy Nghe, and Regret by Melissa Ma. Theyall stood out to me for different reasons, but they were all tied together because they made me think. The first one that I chose was The Curious Case of the Panda. I remember when Christian stood up in front of the class and read this vignette to us, and it was one hell of a performance. At first I thought I was going to be kind of a funny story with its title, but then it started to get serious. When he started saying make it stop, make it stop, I started to freak out inside. Here is what he said.

“Whaaaat? Who…said……who said…..that? POUND POUND POUND. AHHHHHHHH! Aaron screamed for his head to stop pounding.
“Look, now he is awake. Just be quiet.”
AHHHHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT…stop…
“Hahahahahahah”, says the baby giraffe, “you will never make it out of this hospital. You’ll be stuck in here forever!”

I started to think that something was seriously wrong when this started happening. When he told us that it was when his brother was in the hospital it made me think, “How did this happen to him, yet he is still happy and uplifting every day?”. This vignette made me see that maybe life can get you down, but there are still greater things to look forward to.

The next vignette that I chose was Christy’s Talent. I saw how she never had a real talent and I could relate. She says:

“I despise people when they ask me what my talent is. I seem to never have one but other people do. Don’t worry you’ll find your talent. I don’t think I will, I have been waiting for 14 years to find out what my talent was but it never happened”

I have never really had a talent that I could be proud of. All my life I have felt like my friends have such great hobbies and passions while I didn’t have everything. I feel like I am still trying to find out what mine is. She didn’t just start playing music which is smart because she wanted to make sure this is what she wanted to do. This doesn’t always work for me, but it worked for her, which is good. I hope one day I can find my talent.

The final vignette that I chose was Regret by Melissa. This story stuck out the most for me because I felt like this was a very personal subject. When she was young her mother and her father separated, and the same thing happened to me. My situation wasn’t nearly as worse as hers because I still got to see my parents evenly. The main sentencez that stood out to me were these:

At the end of the game she is stunned. In her head I can tell that she regrets missing out on watching me play. She regrets passively watching my other game five years ago because now I play at a different level. Rose regrets not being able to experience the growth I had made since the last time she watched me.

This made me feel bad because she never really had her mother around to support her as much as another kid might have. I wish that it was possible for everyone to have the chance to have a fair, nice childhood and maybe I can help change that in the world. Sometimes you have to struggle in life and you will have hard times, but as they say you just have to 'keep on trucking'.

What's Next?

I think that Esperanza has a very bright and great future coming for her because she deserves it. After all that she has been through I think she deserves a break. After she was forcibly kissed in Red Clowns and after being crept on by a homeless person I think she deserves it. Another reason that I think she will have a peaceful life is because of the vignette title Bums in the Attic. She writes

“One day I’ll have my own house, but I won’t forget who I am, or where I came from. Passing bums will ask can I come in? I’ll offer them the attic; ask them to stay, because I know how it is to be without a house. Some days after dinner guests and I will sit in front of a fire. Floorboards will squeak upstairs. The attic grumble. Rats? They’ll ask. Bums, I’ll say, and I’ll be happy.”

I think that this quote shows that she is truly a caring, nice spirited person. Because of her care and attentiveness I think it will give her the strength to move forward. I definitely think that she will come back for the ones that she left behind because it is just in her character. Her conscious will tell her to come back because they need her. She even says her in the last vignette.

“They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.”

This quote shows that she will most likely come back to help the ones who cannot escape Mango Street. When somebody lives in a certain place for a long time they will feel like they owe something to that place before they leave. This is exactly what Esperanza is doing. She is repaying Mango Street by helping those in need, for example the bums in the Attic.